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Band 6.5

With an increasing population communicating via the Internet and text-messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #internet #communication
It is widely claimed that interaction by
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 will be reduced mainly because communication on social platforms are getting more popular over the years. From my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
 tendency has great possibilities to happen.
To begin
 with, I am of the belief that
this
 rampant trend plagues our society and especially the younger generation. Kids are growing up socializing through social media
instead
 of playing on the streets as we used to do a few years ago. Social media are
also
 addictive
as a result
, these kids are
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on
this
 way of communicating. A clear illustration of
this
 could be said to be that, recent research carried out by two prominent psychologists at MIT university has shown that interacting through social platforms like Instagram, Facebook and Viber, increase the production of dopamine which results in addiction.
In addition
, many kids prefer to socialize via the Internet as they found it much easier and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 than interacting by
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
.
For example
, many of those children have the opportunity to meet a new friend on the Internet by playing video games or just by
follow
Change the verb form
following
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 someone on Instagram,
then
 they text each other and if they share
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 interests may build a strong friendship. But
this
 can lead them to be more antisocial in real life because
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 way they do not develop their social skills. To sum up, never before have we seen so many teenagers interacting through the Internet and it is urgent action be taken in order to stamp out
this
 issue.
Otherwise
, face-to-face communication will be eliminated.
Submitted by rouxzdeep on

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