IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As public safety is of the highest importance, it is often necessary to test new products on animals. It is better for a few animals to suffer than for human life to be placed at risk by untested products. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, testing on
animals
Use synonyms
 in the field of medicine is ramping up. Many people believe that it is a wise decision to make
animals
Use synonyms
 suffer
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 risk a human's life; others,
however
Linking Words
, have the opposite feeling about
this
Linking Words
. I advocate the latter point of view.I personally feel it is wrong to exploit them for human benefit.
Firstly
Linking Words
, day by day, atrocities
on
Change preposition
against
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 are increasing. With the increase in technology, they are losing their freedom. Because of the pollution,
Which
Fix capitalization
which
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 is caused by humans, many of them are already suffering from many problems, and it is morally wrong to use them for testing new products.
In addition
Linking Words
, many products can be used without testing on them
:
Punctuation problem
.
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 The study by Danial James states that most of the items do not need testing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 many research papers stating, humans react differently
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 other creatures react differently
for
Change preposition
to
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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 chemicals, so research on them is quite useless, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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.
Linking Words
furthermore
Fix capitalization
Furthermore
show examples
, in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, with the increase in machine learning, there are new techniques to get the
computerized
Change the spelling
computerised
show examples
 result. We have
also
Linking Words
 seen many cases where many monkeys died by eating the cosmetics ;
this
Linking Words
 kind of study is useless because no one is going to eat the cosmetics.
This
Linking Words
 kind of problem can be reduced just by printing some instructions on
products
Correct article usage
the products
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, using
animals
Use synonyms
 for testing is not the right thing to do. Even though we have many other alternatives like the
computerized
Change the spelling
computerised
show examples
 results, people are still using the old methods, which is morally not right.

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structure
Start with a clear view in the opening line; tell the reader what you think about testing animals.
coherence
Use simple links from one idea to the next and keep your ideas in a clear order.
content
Explain each idea with small, easy reasons and give one clear example.
content
The writer has a clear stance against animal testing.
structure
The essay uses linking words like First/Secondly/To conclude.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public safety
  • untested products
  • animal welfare
  • moral implications
  • scientific validity
  • alternative methods
  • regulations
  • ethical considerations
  • technological developments
  • public sentiment
  • activism
  • societal values
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