IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Policymakers have been witnessed that a huge number of citizens became sick due to
junk
food
, and they believe that it is crucial for a government to be imposed a higher
tax
 on
this
 type of
food
.
This
 essay agrees that the government's official should issue a law that could minimize the
demand
 for
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
food
, and
this
 would be through
tax
.
Firstly
, imposing a higher
tax
 on fast
food
 will control the
demand
 in the market and would encourage
people
 to obtain a healthy lifestyle. There are various reasons why I believe that governments have to impose a higher
tax
 on unhealthy meals is because
this
 will control its
demand
. Economically speaking, it has been proven that applying
tax
 for any products will lead to a decrease in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
demand
.
Thus
, putting a higher
tax
 on fast
food
such
 as burgers and french fries would nudge
people
 to decrease their spending on
food
.
This
 means that an individual might divert that money into different aspects of their life. Something to mention, a sin
tax
,
for instance
,
people
 pay for that type of
tax
 on products that might harm them
such
 as tobacco and alcohol. Another reason why I think that countries should be applied a substantial
tax
 on
junk
food
 is that
this
 might motivate individuals to obtain a healthy lifestyle.
Hence
, when a consumer sees that a healthy meal is cheaper than the unhealthy one
this
 might encourage them to eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
. Despite the fact that everyone knows that a healthy choice tends to be expensive, a higher
tax
 on fast
food
 will make healthy meals affordable to the average consumer.
Moreover
, making unhealthy
food
 less attractive might prevent many diseases and would reduce the number of citizens who are sick because of
junk
food
. In conclusion, lawmakers have noticed that many
people
 started to be sick because of the fast-
foodfood
Correct your spelling
food food
 which led them to impose a higher
tax
 because
this
 might control the
demand
 from an economic viewpoint and would motivate
people
 to have a healthy lifestyle. Given
this
 situation, it seems that living in the consumerism era had made low-quality
food
 more affordable, and that's why it is vital to impose a higher
tax
 on
junk
food
.
Submitted by kofaisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: