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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women
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For a long time, there have been some differences between masculine and feminine gender to distinguish each other. These days, it is believed by some that men biologically have a higher level of competition relative to
women
. From my perspective, I strongly oppose
this
 statement because
such
 characters are created from individuals' education and
culture
, as will now be discussed.
First
 and foremost, parents play a critical role in cultivating children, thereby shaping personalities for them from an early age.
That is
, there is no significant evidence to say that men are naturally more ambitious than
women
. It really depends on the rearing phase, at which people start building their characters to integrate into society.
For example
, if a person was raised and reared by tiger parents, he or she would be likely to be extremely competitive and determined about their goals regardless of
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
.
Second
 of all, cultural factors are too important to be neglected when it comes to the characteristics of both genders.
Although
 we could not deny the role that genes play in forming the personalities of an individual,
culture
 tends to be consistent with people's behaviours.
For example
, in some countries that favour individualism
such
 as the US, where everyone has the freedom to pursue their objectives, both males and females are alike competitive.
As a result
, there are per se more and more
women
 being breadwinners in America. By and large, I
second
 that it is not genes that make men become more competitive in comparison to
women
, but the education and
culture
 of each person. Again, how parents rear their children would be the key answer to
this
 statement;
besides
,
culture
 is complementary to people's characters.
Submitted by namhoangvan.306 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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