IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a country devlops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantage for the individual outweight the disadvantage for the environment?

#country #devlops #people #cars #advantage #outweight #environment
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The citizens of developing countries
such
Linking Words
 as India and China have seen an increasing number of
cars
Use synonyms
. In some nations the
car
Use synonyms
 is not just a transport
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
show examples
, it is
also
Linking Words
 a status symbol,
thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 chose to buy another
car
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they have a need for. Having their own
car
Use synonyms
 does give benefits for individuals, as it makes them more independent but
this
Linking Words
 move affects nature because a huge amount of carbon dioxide is released. The growth of infrastructure gives advancement to
people
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 in many ways. In a country
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
India
people
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enjoys
Change the verb form
enjoy
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 the high-speed roadways network through which the distance between major cities become half. As the standard of living is increasing,
people
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 tend to buy
cars
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 for convenience
also
Linking Words
 they do not need to depend on public transport.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as the country
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 general population own a
car
Use synonyms
 through which they can travel to work on time and
also
Linking Words
 visit places where the public transport is not strongly connected.
For example
Linking Words
- in the ruler areas
connectivety
Correct your spelling
connectivity
 of the buses is not great, in
such
Linking Words
 places the private
car
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 made life comfortable.
However
Linking Words
, the increasing number of
cars
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 on the road is a major concern for air pollution.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 restrictions on
car
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 manufacturing companies have put
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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 on emission through
cars
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, it is still the topic of concern. A number of surveys
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown the results, which explain that carbon dioxide realised through the
cars
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 is the top reason for
pulluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
 air in major cities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The
maintenace
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of the
cars
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also
Linking Words
 create dangerous waste,
such
Linking Words
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
removed oil from the
enigne
Correct your spelling
engine
.
This
Linking Words
non decomposable
Add a hyphen
non-decomposable
show examples
 waste is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living organisms. In
cpnclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, The individual owns the
cars
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 through which they can independently travel around the area for work, on the other side ejection of the carbon is
also
Linking Words
 need to be noticed. The
cpuntries
Correct your spelling
countries
 need to look for ways to reduce the effects caused by
cars
Use synonyms
 on the
environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
.
concerdering
Correct your spelling
considering
this
Linking Words
, the effects on the environment
is outperform
Change the verb form
is outperformed
show examples
 by the ownership of the
car
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by homegardener on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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