IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #information #features #comparisons
This
 chart shows the change in electrical appliances in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 and the changes in the amount of time spent doing
housework
 from 1920 to 2019. In 1920, no
family owned
Add a hyphen
family-owned
show examples
 (+a) refrigerator in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
, but it increased dramatically over the
next
 60 years. In (By) 1980, every household already had a refrigerator. And the ownership of vacuum cleaners is
also
 growing fast（rapidly）. Went from being owned by (删除) 30% of households （+owned a vacuum cleaner，and now）to (删除) all households (+do) in 2000. In 1920, 40% of households owned a washing machine, （
while
）
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
 2019, more than 70% did. It is worth mentioning that there was
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 from 1960 to 1980.
People
 in 1920 without （In 1920,
people
 did not have）many electrical appliances, they had to do it by themselves. They did
housework
 for 50 hours per week,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means they did about 7 hours of
housework
 every day. But as families had more appliances.
People
 do(did) not need to do
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 amount of time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 (spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
) doing
housework
 had been (删除) greatly reduced.
People
 only need to do（spend） 10 hours of
housework
 per week in 2019.
Submitted by 宁宇宇123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words housework, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership of electrical appliances
  • steadily increased
  • dramatically decreased
  • correlating the rise
  • became common
  • households
  • prevalence
  • technological advancements
  • increased affordability
  • household chores
  • labor-saving devices
  • allocated for housework
What to do next:
Look at other essays: