IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Money
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in the modern commercial world.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
-saving has become a fundamental need for everyone, including youngsters. I believe
money
Use synonyms
 must be saved to achieve financial stability and economic security.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can't be denied that everything, including education, has become commercialised, where financial stability is necessary to pursue educational and career goals. To maintain economic stability, individuals should have a habit of saving at an early age.
This
Linking Words
 habit would prevent them from trapping in debt as adults.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they could accomplish their long-term goals without having financial issues. A survey conducted by AN Indian Newspaper ''The Times'' revealed that in middle-class families, youngsters who start during their college time are more likely to pursue study abroad than others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 is uncertain for the future. Economic security has become cumbersome in
this
Linking Words
 competitive era, where youth can encounter various unforeseen situations in
life
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as losing a job, physical disability, and family issues. During
this
Linking Words
 time, having a safety fund acts as a safeguard and promptly heals the worst circumstances.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, securing emergency funds escapes masses to reliance on credits or high-interest loans. Resultantly, they live
life
Use synonyms
 under economic security, which provides psychological satisfaction. A recent study revealed that individuals who demonstrate strong
money
Use synonyms
 management skills tend to report higher levels of
overall
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction compared to those who struggle with financial management.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 saving is associated with sacrificing some enjoyment at an early age, it leads to many economic benefits. People should be encouraged to save
money
Use synonyms
 regardless of their age.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It is important to explain and elaborate on how the example given (The Times survey) supports the point of saving money during college time and pursuing study abroad.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow. For example, you could use phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' at the beginning of paragraphs to better link ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing the importance of saving money for young people.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the survey by 'The Times.'
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main arguments of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and well-supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: