IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The legal
age
Use synonyms
 for
marriage
Use synonyms
 is a topic of ongoing debate, and
while
Linking Words
 different cultures and legal systems set varying minimum ages, I personally agree that the legal
marriage
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 should be at least 21.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by the
age
Use synonyms
 of 21,
individuals
Use synonyms
 are generally more emotionally mature and better equipped to handle the responsibilities of
marriage
Use synonyms
.
Marriage
Use synonyms
 is not just a romantic union but a significant legal and social commitment that requires emotional stability, financial planning, and long-term decision-making. Younger
individuals
Use synonyms
, particularly those under 21, may still be in the process of completing their education or exploring career paths. Rushing into
marriage
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 formative period could lead to long-term consequences, including higher chances of divorce.
Secondly
Linking Words
, research and real-world examples suggest that marriages involving younger
individuals
Use synonyms
 tend to face more challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, studies in countries like the United States and India have shown that early marriages are more likely to result in dissatisfaction, financial strain, and even domestic violence.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those who marry after 21 often report greater satisfaction and stability in their relationships. From personal experience, I’ve seen several cases among friends and relatives where couples who married too young struggled to adapt to each other's needs, especially as they continued to grow and change individually.
In contrast
Linking Words
, couples who married after gaining more life experience and independence were often better aligned in their goals and expectations. In conclusion, raising the legal
marriage
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 to at least 21 can help
individuals
Use synonyms
 make more informed, mature decisions about their future, ultimately leading to healthier and more sustainable relationships.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay clearly answers the question and presents a strong opinion on the legal marriage age, supported by examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, but it could benefit from a stronger hook to engage the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transition words like 'firstly' and 'secondly' more consistently to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make your conclusion more impactful by including a call to action or a thought-provoking question.
task achievement
You provided strong examples and personal experiences that support your argument well.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: