IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
In recent years, parents have tried to look for the most suitable activity for their
teenagers
. Some parents force their teen-aged children to do voluntary work in their free
time
 while others think it would not be a good idea. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
 opinion because of several reasons.
Firstly
,
teenagers
 should be allowed to spend free
time
 on
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 activities in which they are interested. In general, unpaid community
services
 consist of only cleaning public places, teaching children or planting.
Although
 these works could benefit the communities, most juveniles do not get
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 advantages from these
services
.
Therefore
, they should spend
time
 on any beneficial or leisure activities
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 they prefer, like playing music or sports. If these young
people
 grow up and are specialists in their interested fields, they can help the community more than they could as
teenagers
.
In addition
, most juveniles have less free
time
, so they should not be required to do community
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 anymore. Many
people
 think
teenagers
 have much free
time
 after school but it is not true for most young
people
 between the ages of 12 and 18 years old. In many cases, due to high competition, students of
this
 age have to spend a lot of
time
 and effort to attend famous high schools or universities. In some cases,
teenagers
 who have financial problems must do a part-
time
 job after school and on the weekend.
As a result
, their free
time
 is less than what
people
 expect and these young
people
 should take a rest in their free
time
instead
 of joining public
services
. In conclusion, from my perspective, unpaid voluntary
services
 should not be required for juveniles because they should spend
time
 on what they like and there is less free
time
 for them.
Submitted by lmpanuruj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: