An increasing number of people waNT TO BUY CLOTHES, SHOES, AND OTHER ITEMS PRODUCED BY FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL BRANDS. WHY IS THIS? DO YOU THINK IT IS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT

There has been an incline in the population that vie for branded clothes.
This
uptrend has been the result of the fact that the world markets are now open to different countries. Most of the renowned brands in the West, rope in companies from the East, thereby getting them cheap labour.
This
allows them to export their products all across the world.
In addition
to
this
, branded clothes are an indication of a person's social status. More often than not,
this
is the reason why one chooses to go for branded clothes even if they are a little over their budget.
Furthermore
, some luxury items like bags, watches and shoes are
also
being bought and sold as collector's items. Some people use
this
as a business opportunity and earn multifold profits by selling
such
high-demand products. In my opinion, tying self-worth with any brand one uses is certainly not a healthy and sustainable way to lead your life.
In addition
to
this
, the brands that allow abuse in pursuit of getting cheaper labour must be held responsible. In conclusion, I concur that there are definitely a lot of negative aspects to
this
development. A business opportunity should just be that, and must not destroy social harmony. Definitely, the youth, who is largely impacted by
this
notion, should tread
this
path carefully as the impact can be deep. A fad should never decide someone's self-worth nor should it destroy lives as it happens in the case of manual labour being taken advantage of.
Submitted by outpost.03.cameo on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, ensuring that each point is clearly connected can enhance the logical flow even more. Consider distinct paragraphs for separate ideas to better structure the argument.
Task Response
More specific examples could be added to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific brands or instances where collector's items have increased in value could illustrate your points.
Task Response
The essay is generally clear, but working on reducing any minor ambiguities or clarifying points would increase overall clarity. Try providing explicit connections between ideas for greater comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay includes valid points about social status and business opportunities related to branded goods, showing an understanding of socio-economic factors.
Task Achievement
You effectively address both parts of the task, identifying reasons for the phenomenon and arguing your stance on whether it is positive or negative.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international brands
  • consumer behavior
  • disposable income
  • globalization
  • status symbol
  • marketing campaigns
  • cultural influence
  • quality and durability
  • online shopping
  • logistics
  • pop culture
  • homogenization
  • fashion trends
  • social status
  • prestige
  • aggressive marketing
  • endorsement
  • economically accessible
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