Some people think that having a set retirement age( 65 years) for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at earlier age. • Do you agree? • Which type of worker do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reason for your answer and include any recent example from your knowledge of experience.
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Recently,
retirement
age has sparked a heated debate. Some people think it is fair to retire at 65 for everyone, Use synonyms
while
others argue that some special occupations deserve an earlier Linking Words
retirement
. Personally, I agree with the latter view. Use synonyms
This
essay with give reasons on my point of view with examples.
Undoubtedly, social welfare should be equail to all citizens, Linking Words
however
, every job is a different profession which has specific demands in different areas. Linking Words
Therefore
, some workers ought to retire when their conditions are no longer best fit the role after consistant devotion to their duties. Linking Words
For example
, occupations that involve heavy physical labor, Linking Words
such
as construction workers, miners, and factory workers, should be considered for early Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
due to
the toll on their bodies over time.
Linking Words
Moreover
, jobs which are exposed to risks and dangers, Linking Words
such
as firefighters, police officers, and military personnel, should have the option to retire early because these are professions under high risks which may lead to severe physical and mental stress. Many jobs are associated with intensive energy consumption, life dangers and hazardous working environment, it is justified for people conducting these jobs to retire and receive their pension at an ealier age. Linking Words
This
policy can Linking Words
also
encourage young people to engage in these occupations Linking Words
thus
benefiting the scociety as a whole.
Linking Words
To conclude
, different occupation should have a different Linking Words
retirement
age, especially the ones with heavy duties and under risks. Use synonyms
This
will not break the equality of scocial benefits, inversely, there may be advantageous effects for harmonious scocietal development.Linking Words
Submitted by carriexue23 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning studies or statistics about the physical toll of certain jobs would be beneficial.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical errors such as 'consistant' instead of 'consistent' and 'scocial' instead of 'social'. Proofreading your essay before submission would help in identifying such mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. This will also improve the flow of ideas and make your arguments more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs dedicated to distinct ideas. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
supported main points
The arguments presented are relevant, and the examples given, though somewhat general, effectively support your points.