Online shopping has become popular. Is it a positive or negative development.

In recent years, more

customers

have increasingly preferred to shop online rather than in offline

stores

. Some shoppers believe that

this

trend has many drawbacks while others think it seems to be a positive development in the retail industry. Personally, shopping via online platforms has both advantages and disadvantages

Change preposition

from

show examples

different perspectives. The main benefit is that online shopping is a convenient option for buyers. In the past, people always went through the traffic and bought products from physical

stores

Nonetheless

, in present days, they can order

such

products from online

stores

in a few minutes with a few clicks. These items are

then

delivered to buyers’ homes in a few days.

Therefore

, these

customers

could spend time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing other activities

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they want

instead

. Consider shopping in Bangkok as an example. A few years ago, given

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

road congestion and crowded department

stores

, some people had to spend all day purchasing one item. Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

customers

however

can do it within an hour through mobile applications.

On the other hand

, shopping online has more risks of fraud throughout the shopping process. It is common that purchasing via websites or applications requires

personal

Correct article usage

the personal

show examples

information of

customers

, including address, mobile number and credit card number. In many cases, online platform operators sell the customer’s database to other companies.

This

is a key reason why sometimes

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

representatives and insurance brokers have people’s mobile numbers and call to offer new products annoyedly. In some cases, if the security system of

such

platforms is not good enough,

this

information may be leaked to the public, or in the worst cases, to hackers.

For instance

, In South-East Asia, there are call

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

gangs. These criminals hack

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal details and deceit the public to transfer money to them. In conclusion,

although

shopping online brings convenience to

customers

, it cannot be denied that there is a negative impact from

this

progress: risk of decisiveness.

Submitted by lmpanuruj on Sun Feb 06 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

320 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Online shopping has become popular. Is it a positive or negative development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Pollution is an increasing at an alarming rate. Give a reason and solution.