We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that we have
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
enough ability to give everyone around the world a hand. I somewhat agree with the viewpoint because there are many
people
need
Correct pronoun usage
who need
show examples
help
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
us;
however
, we cannot ignore the overseas
people
who
also
need others’ help. The main reason why I believe
people
should help their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
or
countries
rather than other
countries
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
it is the most direct approach to assist others. The public can give homeless
people
, stray dogs and alley cats food near their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
In addition
, teaching children and looking after elderly
people
in rural areas are
also
a good
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to help others.
For example
, the government promote many schemes that the younger
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
students can help
people
who live remotely in a systematic way.
This
can significantly narrow the gap between urban cities and rural areas.
On the other hand
, helping other
countries
is
also
a worth thing
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be deserved. When our government give other
countries
some health
resources
, food
resources
and clothes
resources
etc. It means our
country
is prosper
Change the verb form
is prospering
show examples
so that we can assign
resources
to them.
Nevertheless
, it builds the relationship between our
country
and other
countries
.
For example
, Japan experienced
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
earthquake in 2011, Taiwan was the
first
country
, which gave them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big help,
such
as water, food, money. Now, Japan and Taiwan maintain an excellent relationship. In conclusion,
people
who need help exist worldwide. Even though
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
other
countries
is a friendly thing, I still believe that we need to put more attention on our communities and
country
.
Submitted by ru8m6512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: