It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Over the

last

Linking Words

few decades, ways of learning

cultures

Use synonyms

have been a subjective matter. Many

people

Use synonyms

think that travelling is not the best way when we have books, films and the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

, from which we can cut the distances between destinations and learn from home.

Although

Linking Words

it can be financially beneficial and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can save time, I partially disagree with

this

Linking Words

standpoint and think that visiting cultural places is preferable

due to

Linking Words

the cultural aspects and the reliability of sources. On the one hand, there are several factors to underpin the distance learning of culture. First and foremost, not all

people

Use synonyms

afford to travel thousands of kilometres when they have a chance to just click the internet from their phones and find a myriad of sources. Even the affordable layer of

people

Use synonyms

might not want to spend their money on an informative tour.

Instead

Linking Words

, they could buy gadgets with the help of which they will have a chance to watch informative documentaries, and films, or

Correct your spelling

show examples

visit sites with full information.

In addition

Linking Words

, trips are very time-consuming activities.

In other words

Linking Words

, to go to some cultural place in order to learn about them, you need to devote at least 2 weeks only to one place. It is undeniable that the majority of human beings are workers with fixed work hours, and they have only one month of holiday throughout the year. And, of course, they do not want to spend it on trips,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

instead

Linking Words

, they would get relaxed and refreshed for the upcoming work season.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that it will be more beneficial if

people

Use synonyms

visit destinations in person. In

this

Linking Words

era of technology, internet fraud has become common, and there is no system to filter the information on social media. Books

also

Linking Words

can not be credible, as they were written by poets, and books have never been without fiction and make-up.

As a result

Linking Words

, disinformation would bring a misunderstanding of the

cultures

Use synonyms

, which could lead to serious problems.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, visiting places and learning directly from genuine sources will be better for tourists.

Moreover

Linking Words

, exchanging tourists would enhance a bond and a friendship among

cultures

Use synonyms

. Tourism all over the world and learning from each other

also

Linking Words

has a positive impact on countries' economies, which ultimately affects

people

Use synonyms

's lifestyles. In Uzbekistan,

for instance

Linking Words

, there are over 150 cultural centres of nations that serve to have a good relationship between Uzbekistan and these countries, making nations closer to each other.

To conclude

Linking Words

, despite the monetary factor and time that discourage

people

Use synonyms

from travelling, from my standpoint, visiting places has a profound impact on

cultures

Use synonyms

and understanding.

abdulaziz

Aug 5, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task, but ensure to maintain a consistent stance. 'I partially disagree' should be clearly supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are clear and comprehensive, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance the overall flow.

introduction conclusion support

Your introduction and conclusion are strong, framing the essay well.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

441 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural immersion
authentic experiences
diverse perspectives
comprehensive
historical context
facilitates
sensory and emotional depth
holistic understanding
cultural bias
stereotypes
discernment
virtual reality
convenience of access

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?