It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Over the
last
few decades, ways of learning cultures
have been a subjective matter. Many people
think that travelling is not the best way when we have books, films and the internet
, from which we can cut the distances between destinations and learn from home. Capitalize word
Internet
Although
it can be financially beneficial and it
can save time, I partially disagree with Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
standpoint and think that visiting cultural places is preferable due to
the cultural aspects and the reliability of sources.
On the one hand, there are several factors to underpin the distance learning of culture. First and foremost, not all people
afford to travel thousands of kilometres when they have a chance to just click the internet from their phones and find a myriad of sources. Even the affordable layer of people
might not want to spend their money on an informative tour. Instead
, they could buy gadgets with the help of which they will have a chance to watch informative documentaries, and films, or ti
visit sites with full information.
Correct your spelling
to
In addition
, trips are very time-consuming activities. In other words
, to go to some cultural place in order to learn about them, you need to devote at least 2 weeks only to one place. It is undeniable that the majority of human beings are workers with fixed work hours, and they have only one month of holiday throughout the year. And, of course, they do not want to spend it on trips, and
Correct word choice
apply
instead
, they would get relaxed and refreshed for the upcoming work season.
On the other hand
, I believe that it will be more beneficial if people
visit destinations in person. In this
era of technology, internet fraud has become common, and there is no system to filter the information on social media. Books also
can not be credible, as they were written by poets, and books have never been without fiction and make-up. As a result
, disinformation would bring a misunderstanding of the cultures
, which could lead to serious problems. For
this
reason, visiting places and learning directly from genuine sources will be better for tourists.
Moreover
, exchanging tourists would enhance a bond and a friendship among cultures
. Tourism all over the world and learning from each other also
has a positive impact on countries' economies, which ultimately affects people
's lifestyles. In Uzbekistan, for instance
, there are over 150 cultural centres of nations that serve to have a good relationship between Uzbekistan and these countries, making nations closer to each other.
To conclude
, despite the monetary factor and time that discourage people
from travelling, from my standpoint, visiting places has a profound impact on cultures
and understanding.Submitted by abdulaziz
on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, but ensure to maintain a consistent stance. 'I partially disagree' should be clearly supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear and comprehensive, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance the overall flow.
introduction conclusion support
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, framing the essay well.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example