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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, when students pursued a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Nowadays,with the advancement of technology,many individuals tend to go
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
 countries for higher
education
Use synonyms
,but In the earlier days,scholars used to
study
Use synonyms
 in their own country.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both merits and demerits
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend. To embark on,there are numerous benefits by doing
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in
a foreign countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a foreign country
foreign countries
show examples
.
firstly
Linking Words
,increases knowledge as well as improves skills.
secondly
Linking Words
,there is a
chance
Use synonyms
 to communicate with different people and experience a new culture about their nation in terms of clothes and nourishment.
moreover
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,it offers high income and enables many job opportunities.
furthermore
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,there is a systematic
education
Use synonyms
 system by providing scholarships to students who are below poverty,so they feel free to
study
Use synonyms
 over there and there is no pollution.
additionally
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,scholars have a
chance
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 as well as there is a
chance
Use synonyms
 to do
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
 job,it makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay
fee
Add an article
the fee
show examples
 without asking their parents.
for example
Linking Words
,recently,my friend went to America for her higher
education
Use synonyms
,she told me that she joins in a restaurant to do a job,
as a result
Linking Words
,she ables to manage all expenses without anyone support. On another hand,there are
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 development.
initially
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,we do not have a
chance
Use synonyms
 to see our parents directly,
therefore
Linking Words
 it makes us
depression
Replace the word
depressed
show examples
.
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,it is very difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 us,if we want to go back to our country because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some restrictions from that particular country.
moreover
Linking Words
,our
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 will
also
Linking Words
 decrease due to students
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferring
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 other nations.
furthermore
Linking Words
,some individuals can not
habituated
Change the verb form
be habituated
habituate
show examples
 to their culture,so it results in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
health problems.
for instance
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 nations like the US and the Uk,these places are very cool,
therefore
Linking Words
 it leads to cough,fever. To conclude,many individuals have different opinions which vary from person to person,so they only decide which
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 is the best for them.studying in other nations give confidence and teamwork skills.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • International job market
  • Cultural exposure
  • Intercultural communication
  • Higher education standards
  • Specialized programs
  • Language proficiency
  • Financial burden
  • Homesickness
  • Mental health challenges
  • Recognition of qualifications
  • Bureaucratic challenges
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