Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is a highly contentious argument over whether the students’ purposes of education should be for their own sake or for society’s benefit. Personally, I strongly believe that,
however
, everyone in society has many rights
such
as achieving their ambitions, the needs of the country will be paramount.
This
essay will address both sides of the argument and draw a conclusion. On the one hand of the discussion, there is a common belief that the
goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
show examples
of studying should be the pupils' assistance
to fulfil
Change preposition
in fulfilling
show examples
the government’s requirements.
In other words
, some people argue that they have been living in a competitive and fast-changing world.
Thus
, if the learners gain the new technology in the universities, the society can keep abreast of the modern developments.
For example
, all sciences, which are associated with nanotechnology, have been turned into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contributing
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
in the universe.
Furthermore
, a country requires a various array of carriers that are related to
this
new knowledge, in consequence, the qualification seekers should search for all fields so as to eradicate a number of problems. I believe the fulfilment in satisfaction of the state’s problems outweighs other complexities because
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are likely to prevent the negative circumstances in general.
On the other hand
, others advocate that the pupils should consider their personal benefits. What I mean by
this
is the community
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
entitled to implement their aims,
due to
the fact that they have maintained a collection of issues to succeed
,
Correct word choice
and, therefore
show examples
therefore
, must choose their favourite courses.
For instance
, each person can continue their own education in the engineering major, even if there are a massive of engineers in the state. In conclusion, I accept that both views have their justifications. On balance,
although
, individuals have the true right to select their ways, it seems to me that it is better to perceive the public’s complexities as opposed to ourselves.
This
is because it can essentially contribute to an immense of serious and inevitable circumstances for all people.
Submitted by elnazkarimi1386 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response advice
Improve the clarity and relevance of specific examples to support your points.
coherence advice
Ensure a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Incorporate topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: