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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
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Recently the number of violence and crimes is increasingly popular, which lead to jumping in the figure of prisoners. Individuals claim that prisons are not a great solution to decrease their risks, while they believe that education and training have positive consequences. I totally agree with
this
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 statement. In the following paragraphs, I will explain why and give vivid reasons.
To begin
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 with, I strongly believe that
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 deserves
punishment
Add an article
a punishment
show examples
 to create a healthy environment, but he
also
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 needs a
second
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 chance to practice his life. Imagine that 15 years old boy spent his entire life in an empty small and dirty room, doing nothing except looking at the roof! It is a waste of time. What if we teach and train him? I think he will believe he is a great person and has an important role in society.
Hence
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, he will change from a bad to a good man. Maybe
this
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 child will invent something that will help us.
For example
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, Governments could build a library and ask the prisoners to read at least fifteen books in a month, the reward will be to minimise the length of the staying. Or they could conduct a school inside the jail, and study different subjects or organise various activities and competitions among the criminals. They could be doctors, teachers or judges.
Thus
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 they will change dramatically to be influential
people
Use synonyms
. There is a famous prison in Germany that gives the prisoners a chance to practice their rights and lives inside the prison. What is funny is most of them do not want to go out.
In addition
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, criminals are dangerous, there are many of them with different backgrounds, cultures and characteristics. So if we do not pay attention and look after them, society will be in danger even themselves. They will end up killing and hurting
people
Use synonyms
 ,especially their children or suicide.
Moreover
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, there are plenty of
people
Use synonyms
 inside the jail, they are clever, critical thinkers and inventors, so they can be beneficial. I remembered the movie called The Professor and the Crazy Man. It was about a man who killed a poor father by mistake. He regretted and to forgive himself he asked their mother to teach her and her children. And he
also
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 helped the professor to create a dictionary.
This
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 dictionary now is well-known. In conclusion, I think sending
people
Use synonyms
 to prisons is not a good idea
instead
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 governments should consider them as a part of society and give them chances to learn.
Submitted by fatmahaleesa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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