Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the social concerns today relates to protecting the environment.
While
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it is commonly suggested that human destruction
to
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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wildlife cannot be changed, others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. On the one hand, the change to save wildlife depends on people’s awareness. The main reason is that humans have been doing
this
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activity for a long time so it is too difficult to change immediately. They have earned so much money from exploiting the environment that it is difficult to tell them to stop and find another alternative.
For instance
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, ethnic groups living in the mountainous areas of Vietnam have been cutting down trees to make land for farming and building houses.
Furthermore
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, these forests will never be grown again and animals can lose their homes forever.
On the other hand
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, it is strongly believed by others that
this
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phenomenon can be changed. People often have
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion because the government can give some strict rules about protecting the safety of plants and animals
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and forcing everyone to comply. A second point is that humans can choose other  environmentally friendly materials
instead
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of using plastic.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Singapore, you can rarely see trash on the street because the government has given a strict rule  that if you litter, you could be fined or imprisoned. In conclusion, there is still a big debate about whether we can protect wildlife or not. In my opinion, I think
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem could
be handle
Change the verb form
be handled

It appears that the form of the verb handle does not work with be in this sentence.

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in the future.
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introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. Aim to provide a more nuanced thesis statement that reflects complexity in opinion.
body paragraphs
Work on expanding your ideas and providing more detailed explanations. Each paragraph should fully address the points mentioned.
paragraphing and coherence
Strive for clear, well-structured paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader. Transitional phrases should be used effectively to connect ideas.
examples and support
Incorporate a comprehensive range of examples that are fully explored and directly relevant to the topic.
conclusion
Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly without introducing new information.
grammar
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to show language flexibility and accuracy. Avoid grammar mistakes to improve clarity and precision.
vocabulary
Broaden your lexical resource by employing a wide range of vocabulary pertinent to the topic. Avoid overuse of certain words and aim for precision in word choice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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