IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
Nowadays,
people
 can buy many
products
 from other
countries
 in their country
thus
 the development of logistics can help to transfer goods easily.
However
, some
people
 think
that is
 an essential effect to
travel
. In the following paragraph, a reason to support my opinion will be outlined. The developments of technology have a dramatic change in many ways
such
 as the logistics between factories of
products
 and other
countries
 which less a day of transport than past. So,
people
 are able to buy the
product
 from
further
countries
,
for instance
, they can able to buy a
product
 from Canada while they living in Asia by 1 day for shipping.
Moreover
, these make
people
 know about the brand easier than in past
thus
 they can access to the
product
 by going to a supermarket nearby their home.
Although
this
 will make many benefit to many companies and
people
, it affects to
people
 indirect ways,
for example
, the easy buying of the
product
 causes to the
travel
 in their
countries
 because the tourist can find the
products
 in their home, why they come to these
countries
 and buy it if they find these
products
 in their house it is easier than
travel
 with making a lot of costs. So, these are affected to local
people
 and employees in a
travel
 field jobs. In conclusion, the developments of technology, which make easily transport of
products
, are affected to
people
 not only benefit but these
also
 have disadvantages. So, the government should find a solution to the development which affects the travelling,
then
 the government should solve the problem in urgent times.
Submitted by porroramor_prem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: