IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different thoughts about government priority, belief or not,
economy
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in the global stage but some citizens claim that authorities must take care of the other categories which I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Obviously, In today’s world, one of the essential objectives for the government is the
economy
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, to create a complex society, we need policy based on the countries’ income to increase job creation with appropriate salary and high employment
rate
Use synonyms
 whereas for development in the various fields,
for instance
Linking Words
, health, entertainment, and public services, a complex economic system is an absolute necessity. To be precise, the cycle of development in all aspects relies on economical improvements.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we should mention that other types of progress have a significant effect on society. On paper, some of the countries like Finland have the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of happiness among the others
as a result
Linking Words
 of their unique policy which they based on their citizens’ prosperity. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they have the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of poverty
also
Linking Words
 government provides free health insurance and they cover all of the students’ expenditure from education fees to transportation expenses. Contrary to the USA which has a capitalist system even though they have an enormous
economy
Use synonyms
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of depression and poverty, and suicide among the people are very high. So to sum up, It is clear other aspects of development in a country are significant as the
economy
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Unquestionably, for the greater society, we must have a sustainable
economy
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, other developments have an important role and they make a huge difference in people’s prosperity.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: