IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that climate change reforms will negatively affect businesses. Others feel that they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In recent years, climatic
change
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 has been a subject of ongoing debate, with a number of individuals believing that it has harmful effects on business,
while
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 others advocate for its potential benefits.
This
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 essay argues that
climate
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change
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 is a ground upon which
businesses
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 can thrive
while
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 considering both points of view. On the one hand, many
businesses
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 are wary of the seriousness of
climate
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change
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. The oil and gas industry,
for example
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, finds
climate
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change
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 an existential threat as the scorn against greenhouse gas emissions grows ,
thus
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, nations across the globe have levied taxes on the use of fuel. Faced with the masses growing demands for actions against
climate
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change
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, governments would likely implement increasingly stricter fiscal policies, costing
businesses
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 in the oil and gas industry their profit.
As a result
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, their budget will be affected significantly, which may cause a huge loss and even lead to bankruptcy.
On the other hand
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, some
businesses
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 that seize the opportunity will have the potential to develop in the long term.
Furthermore
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, when complying with new laws on environmental protection, will attract sympathy from
customers
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, thereby increasing the number of loyal
customers
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as well as
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 potential
customers
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. It is an effective and feasible way to gain product recognition and promotion.
For example
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, big brands like Milo have changed plastic straws to paper ones to be more environmentally friendly, thereby building a good image.
Therefore
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, the enactment of laws related to
climate
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change
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 can help
businesses
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 develop sustainably in the long term. In conclusion,
while
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 it is certain that
climate
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change
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 brings about causes for concern for enterprises, it
also
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 creates opportunities for new
businesses
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 as
climate
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change
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 provides incentives for demand to build up a good image and attracts potential
customers
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, which benefits
businesses
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 in the long period.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good response to the task, but you might consider adding a little more detail in the second view (positive impacts) to balance both parts of the discussion more evenly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly from one to the next by using transitional phrases. This will help improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion, which is important for a high task response score.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Milo switching to paper straws, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical and well-organized, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing both views, and ending with a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your response well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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