Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education

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has a vital role in

the

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individual's life. Among

people

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, some of them think that the object of academics is an aid to help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

society

Punctuation problem

society,

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whereas

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others believe that it should give

hand

Correct article usage

a hand

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to reach goals. In my opinion, both views have it is own quality as discussed as follows.

To begin

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with,

people

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's attitude towards the community is

Correct word choice

that the

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the

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person who is well educated can lead the public with confidence and knowledge.

For example

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, in

politics

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politics,

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people

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who are educated can solve any issues raised in the field of finance,

education

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, or tourism. Because when a problem

origin

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originates

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across

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any time

they

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, they

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can wisely

take

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make

show examples

decision

Correct article usage

a decision

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with their knowledge and conviction.

Hence

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, every

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people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

will support and trust that resolution rather than a person who is uneducated.

Moreover

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society

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needs professional

people

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like doctors, nurses, and other medical staff to serve them and obtain good health services. The

covid

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COVID

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pandemic situation is a similar case.

On the other hand

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, individuals have their own target to achieve a good position in their

life

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lives

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For instance

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, as everyone knows about the former

USA

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show examples

president Abraham Lincoln

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apply

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was born into poverty. He was self-educated even under the brightness of street-light and became a lawyer.

Thus

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, all are learning

hardly

Rephrase

apply

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in any difficult situation.

However

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, to live

stable

Correct article usage

a stable

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and financially backgrounded

education

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is a must. Not only knowledge

but

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, but

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also

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they can attain well placed in

society

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Furthermore

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, each one has their own dream about their life

especially

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, especially

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the fact

Check wording

terms

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education

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and job. In conclusion, academics are always helpful for individual development

as well as

Linking Words

social services.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

people

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give priority to obtaining a career so that they can serve

society

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Linking Words

also

Rephrase

as well

show examples

anjuvarughese015

Feb 8, 2022

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structure

Link ideas with clear topic sentences and simple connectors to show flow.

language

Check grammar and word choice to make meaning clear.

content

Give only helpful examples and explain how they support the point.

content

The essay shows both sides and gives a view.

language

Some examples are used, like Lincoln.

content

A clear message about education value.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

vocational training
professional education
workforce
informed citizens
critical thinking
civic activities
personal talents
nurture
innovation
specialize
personal satisfaction
self-awareness
fulfilled lives

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