IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #results #behaviour
It is a frequent topic of discussion that violent news affects the behaviour of both children and adults. Personally, I believe that violent publishing has a negative impact on our society.
First
 and foremost, these days, the media
such
 as televised
games
, television and films become an inseparable part and parcel of our life.
Also
, the media has been becoming more and more violent content. And according to psychologists
people
 who often watch violent films and movies tend to commit a crime in real soul. Since these kinds of films give an aggressive mood for the nation. In fact, researches show that television and film fighting contribute to both a short-term and a long-term increase in aggression and terrorism in viewers.
For example
, about 2 years ago, the number of crimes increased significantly after showing on TV programs and movies about rampage in the USA.
Second
 of all, nowadays, various video
games
 are common among the youths.
Also
, an excessive amount of time spent by the young population on
such
 video kill
games
 affect their behaviour.
Furthermore
, teenagers and young adults who play online
games
 about violence regularly stand out from the other their peers with their aggressive and violent behaviour. As
people
 especially the youths tend to do violent actions in real life.
For instance
,
last
 year, video kill
games
such
 as "squid
game
" became popular in Japan and in Korea. A lot of
people
 played
this
game
 online and day by day they began to play
this
game
 in their real life. Even, a number of
people
 started to kill each other due to
this
game
. After that, the government of Japan and Korea banned playing these sorts of televised
games
. To sum up, I would stress that I support definitely the statement and my arguments confirm
this
.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: