Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The economic balance between rich and poor has been a long debate since the start of the 21st century. Most
people
argue that every member of society
should have similar financial conditions so that everyone can get the opportunity to enjoy all luxuries equally. However
, I believe that there should be at least a substantial amount of difference between the wealth
of rich and poor individuals. This
essay explains the reason, why I disagree with the statement. Furthermore
, it briefly explains the benefits of creating variation in wealth
among different members of a community.
To commence with, the main problem with financial balance is the loss of motivation among people
to start new businesses and contribute to economic development. People
start businesses or get an education,
because they want to generate higher income and afford useful products. Remove the comma
apply
On the contrary
, if there is a very small distinction between rich and poor, there would be no point in doing hard work to earn money. The monetary imbalance between certain individuals in a society
is essential to develop
a sustainable economy. Wrong verb form
developing
On the other hand
, poor people
in a happier society
must have easy access to basic facilities at cheaper rates. In London, for example
, only 10% of the population occupies 70% of the wealth
, nevertheless
, middle-class citizens can still afford basic luxury items.
Economic inequality helps companies to save wealth
that can be used to develop advanced products. If a large amount of money is transferred to incapable individuals, these organizations would not have enough funds to work for the betterment of society
.
To conclude
, we must have to
accept the fact that Verb problem
apply
besides
some disadvantages, the difference between the economic situation between the richest and the poorest members is inevitable to grow organizations and develop useful products.Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on
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task achievement
Ensure to fully address all aspects of the task. While the essay effectively argues against the statement, it could provide a more balanced perspective by considering counterarguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to reinforce your arguments. This could strengthen your position and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically throughout the essay. Some points can be expanded or linked with clearer transitions to improve overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the argument.
task achievement
Ideas are presented clearly, supporting your disagreement with the statement. The reasons provided are relevant and understandable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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