Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

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Human
society
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has evolved substantially over the
last
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centuries, and with
such
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considerable changes come opinions that the old way of living has lost its relevancy and should be terminated. I cannot entirely agree as many
traditions
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remain their acute importance in shaping generation’s
behaviors
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behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and community. There are numerous conservative etiquette and concepts that appear unworthwhile to follow in the modern era. As the world is changing quickly, modern lifestyles differ significantly from the conventional ways of living.
Therefore
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, the young generation with their forward-thinking ways should diminish those traditional cultures and even explore new cultural norms
instead
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. The tradition of valuing men above women,
for example
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, conflicts with feminism today. Those conventional concepts,
furthermore
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, defer individuals from pursuing their freedom,
in contrast
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to the centric lifestyle of young people. Gender stereotypes
such
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as the belief of women's bias in housework, thereby preventing them from chasing their dreams is a salient instance of
this
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.
Accordingly
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, the young should have the freedom not to follow outdated customs and establish practices that are more appropriate for their time. .
However
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, continuing to uphold social norms contributes to cultural preservation and civilized
society
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. In simple words, if young people follow social
traditions
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in activities that are different between cultures, they would probably preserve the uniqueness of their heritage. It means that those practices give rise to cultural conservation. Adhering to social
traditions
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,
furthermore
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, could educate younger people to have appropriate manners and morals. Traditionally minded Vietnamese parents,
for instance
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,
instill
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instil

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in their children the value of bowing to their seniors, displaying their deep respect and appreciation.
Therefore
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, teens are raised to be reliable and generous, creating a quality
society
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with mannerism. In conclusion,
although
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the young should be selective in choosing the social
traditions
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because of out-of-date conceptions, upholding customs and
traditions
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aids in conserving national heritage and educating civilized residents for
society
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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