These days many families move abrod for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Other believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#families #move #abrod #work #people #children #lives

In today’s globalized world, many families move abroad for work. Some believe that

this

benefits the

children

in these families,

while

others think it makes their lives more difficult.

This

essay will discuss both views and provide my own opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, moving abroad can offer great benefits to

children

. They get the chance to experience new cultures, languages, and customs.

This

exposure can help them become more open-minded and adaptable.

For example

children

who live in different countries often become fluent in multiple languages, which can be an advantage in their future careers.

Additionally

, they learn to make friends with people from different backgrounds, which can improve their social skills and help them become more confident.

On the other hand

, some people argue that moving to a new country can be hard for

children

. It often means leaving behind friends, family, and a familiar environment.

This

can make

children

feel lonely or isolated, especially if they struggle to adapt to a new culture or language.

For instance

children

may have difficulties adjusting to a different school system or making new friends. These challenges can lead to stress and anxiety, which might affect their

overall

happiness. In my opinion,

while

moving abroad can be challenging for

children

, the benefits outweigh the difficulties. The opportunity to experience new cultures, learn new languages, and develop a global perspective will serve them well in the future. In conclusion, moving abroad has both advantages and challenges for

children

, but I believe the positive aspects help them grow and succeed in the long term.

Submitted by hebadyala on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, you could strengthen your arguments by providing more concrete examples and expanding on them.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, maintaining a seamless flow of ideas.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly sets up the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

logical structure

Your essay is well-organized; each paragraph focuses on a single point making it easy to follow.

supported main points

You provided relevant examples that are directly connected to the points you are making.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days many families move abrod for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Other believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?