In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

Shopping is one of the most preferred leisure activities among youngsters in many cities across the world.

Fix the agreement mistake

Advertisements

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and the Lack of recreational centres are the main reasons for

this

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trend of excessive shopping.

Linking Words

while

Fix capitalization

While

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in my opinion,

this

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is a negative development which can lead to wastage of

money

Use synonyms

, it can help the economic growth of the society.

To begin

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with, advertising on TV and in magazines tempts juveniles to buy products and luxury items they do not need and

influence

Correct subject-verb agreement

influences

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their shopping habit.

Additionally

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, most of the cities don’t have recreational centres

such

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as sports clubs or parks which they can use to spend their leisure time.

Consequently

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, most people prefer to do shopping as a pleasurable activity to break the monotonous routine from their busy work schedule and to replenish themselves from their exhaustion level. One serious problem that teenagers

spend

Correct pronoun usage

who spend

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their free time shopping is that it can lead to losing their

money

Use synonyms

. Teenagers are spending

money

Use synonyms

excessively to buy the latest trends of mobile phones, clothing, cosmetics, and gadgets,

thus

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Punctuation problem

apply

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ruining their savings and putting themselves under financial debt.

In addition

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, peer pressure forces people to keep up with the latest trends.

For example

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, two juveniles compete to buy the most up-to-date clothes.

On the other hand

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while

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some might argue that shopping is largely a waste of time, I feel that its economic advantages outweigh other concerns. Masses of wealthy middle-class consumers contribute greatly to economic prosperity

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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that brings various benefits to all socioeconomic classes.

This

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new trend improves economies that now have more consumers to buy products

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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greater demand leads to greater production

which

Punctuation problem

, which

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positively affects the economy. Malls, as one crucial part of a consumer society, serve to encourage spending and national prosperity. In conclusion, the lack of cultural and sports facilities has led most young people to consider shopping as a pastime, which wastes their

money

Use synonyms

, but

also

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improves the country's economy. If governments were to invest more

money

Use synonyms

in tax

cuts

Punctuation problem

cuts,

show examples

this

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would

further

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encourage spending at malls and help developing nations and developed ones whose growth has plateaued.

s.hosein.jeddi.blue

Feb 10, 2022

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task response

Your answer shows you know the task. Keep a clear view that shopping can be good or bad, and back this with strong, simple examples.

coherence

Link ideas in a simple way. Use easy links like first, then, also, but, so, in conclusion.

grammar

Check grammar and spelling. Use short, clear sentences with a subject and a verb. Put points in the right place (intro, body, conclusion).

lexical resource

Use more exact words. Short, simple words are best. Avoid long or hard words. Examples show how things are true.

stance

It shows a clear view that the topic can be seen as bad.

content

It tries to talk about both causes and effects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disposable income
leisure activity
retail therapy
local economies
fashion trends
peer pressure
social status
environmental impact
consumption
waste
materialistic
cultural activities
prominent
neglect
therapeutic
social media influence
boost
desire

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In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

In recent days, a lot of people are spending a lot of money on celebrating personal family events, for example, New Year celebrations, birthdays, weddings and so on.

Despite being defeated, Gojo is thought to be stronger than Sukuna and in fact, The King of Curses would lose without powerful shikigamies like Mahogara. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In the today’s world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world of business. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.