IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Advertising plays an increasingly significant role in modern society.
While
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 some believe it is a powerful driver of economic growth, others argue that it has adverse social implications, particularly in shaping people’s sense of self-worth and happiness.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before expressing a personal viewpoint. On the one hand, advertising is considered essential for stimulating consumer demand and driving business success. It informs customers about available products, persuades them to make purchases, and
thus
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 fuels market competition. In doing so, it contributes to job creation across sectors
such
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 as marketing, design, media, and sales.
Moreover
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, small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) often rely on cost-effective advertising through digital platforms to reach potential customers, which enhances entrepreneurial opportunities and supports economic development.
For instance
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, social media campaigns have enabled countless startups to grow rapidly by targeting niche audiences with personalized content. Without advertising, many of these businesses would struggle to survive in competitive markets.
On the other hand
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, critics of advertising highlight its detrimental effects on social well-being. Many advertisements promote unrealistic beauty standards, materialistic values, and idealized lifestyles that are unattainable for the average person.
This
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 constant exposure can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression, especially among impressionable groups
such
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 as teenagers.
Furthermore
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, advertising often creates artificial needs by convincing consumers that their lives are incomplete without certain products.
This
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 fosters a culture of overconsumption and status-based identity, where individuals define themselves by what they own rather than who they are. Over time,
such
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 tendencies can erode social cohesion and contribute to a sense of perpetual dissatisfaction. In my opinion,
while
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 advertising undeniably plays a crucial role in supporting economic activity, its psychological manipulation and the societal pressures it creates make its
overall
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 impact more harmful than beneficial. A sustainable balance must be struck—one where economic incentives do not come at the expense of individual mental health and social values. In conclusion,
although
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 advertising drives consumerism and boosts the economy, it
also
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 cultivates unrealistic expectations and undermines personal contentment.
Therefore
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, I believe that the negative social consequences of advertising outweigh its economic advantages.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured argument, addressing both views comprehensively. To improve, consider providing even clearer transitions between ideas to enhance flow.
task response
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main points and personal opinion. However, you could add a brief summary of both views in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
task response
While your main points are well-supported, ensure that your examples are varied and directly linked to the main argument to further strengthen your points.
content
The essay thoroughly explores both perspectives on advertising, demonstrating a balanced approach.
content
The use of specific examples, like social media campaigns, effectively illustrates your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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