With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #phones #tablets #devices #people

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate whether the drawbacks of fast

communication

technology

enhancement

such

as smartphones, tablets and other mobile

devices

may overshadow the advantages. I consider myself an opponent of

this

statement due to the fact that its upsides bring a great volume of tremendously decent influence on humans and society. It goes without saying that in

this

industrial era, the more

communication

technology

improves, the more comfortable

people

feel. In

this

day and age, humans with any category of

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

with an addition

Change preposition

show examples

the internet can easily communicate with others from all over the world. Covid-19, one of the most immense diseases, can be cited as an instance. Evidently, an eclectic mix of

people

has to stay at home, some lose their job, some become depressed because of loneliness.

However

, thanks to advanced

communication

devices

which have brought

people

together in

such

a severe period of time.

Thus

, rapid

communication

technology

improvement plays

such

a paramount integral role in human’s daily life. While the redeeming features of making drastical progress in

communication

technology

has been widely acknowledged, its downsides still

lingers

Change the verb form

linger

show examples

. With a view to being the winner in

technology

Correct article usage

the technology

show examples

war, an abundance of firms

try

Change the verb form

tries

show examples

their best in order to revamp everything in their smart

devices

as well as publish novel ones day in day out. Unintentionally, it has created a throw-away society where

people

waste their money on new things and do away with them right after the appearance of other novel objects.

For example

, when everybody has a tight budget because of covid-19, new smart

devices

still appear and those with

such

bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

still spare their money because they think it makes them cool and everyone else will have to look up to them. In conclusion, even though advancing

communication

technology

rapidly has both advantages and disadvantages, the advantages seem to outweigh its counterpart.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Thu Feb 10 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.