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Band 8

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
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A sense of competition is believed to be encouraged while others argue that cooperation is supreme for the future of the children.
This
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 essay will present/evaluate both of these views before showing why I favour the latter. On the one hand, others consider that competitiveness can be an essential source of motivation for adolescents and one of the most noticeable reasons is that children can be significantly independent. In detail, working alone means that kids must deal with problems on their own and without the support of other teammates.
As a result
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, their ability to get over the issue along with their persistence and self-confidence, which are vital in today’s competitive working environment, are enhanced after each successful task.
On the other hand
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, I am still convinced that cooperation is more helpful and one of the main causes is that adolescents can become more responsible. To be more specific, the
group
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 functions best when all the members do well in each of their missions,
therefore
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 when operating as a
group
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, kids are able to supervise or assist others' work progress and still need to accomplish their own tasks perfectly .
In addition
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, working in a
group
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 may improve the child’s communication skills and other soft skills
such
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 as sympathy.
For example
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, when the result of the
group
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 is poor, kids know how to tolerate and appease the mistakes of other members.
Consequently
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, the teenagers who grow up with an understanding of the necessity of helping each other are likely to become effective and more useful citizens. In conclusion,
although
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 a sense of competition is crucial for independence, responsibility and sympathy, operating as a
group
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 is likely to aid more for children's future life.
Submitted by quanghuy.nguyen2098 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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