IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or Disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some politicians may claim that
governments
Use synonyms
 should spend a higher amount on
education
Use synonyms
 expenses rather than spending taxpayer
money
Use synonyms
 on recreation and sports. Given the importance of
education
Use synonyms
 and how it could turn into a long-term investment, I agree that
education
Use synonyms
 deserves a bigger take on
governments
Use synonyms
' budgets.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the reasons behind my opinion. The essential reason why
education
Use synonyms
 must be prioritized in terms of financing is simply because of its importance. Many developed countries, for ,example Finland and Denmark, have spent billions of dollars on planning, execution and review of their
education
Use synonyms
 policies after World War II.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have raised many generations who are well-educated, self-aware and emotionally intelligent, able to speak foreign languages, and often aware of their responsibilities to the society and environment. These generations led the financial success in their countries by working hard, and they have
also
Linking Words
 achieved having a better quality of life by demanding better democracy and better governance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the importance of
education
Use synonyms
 should not be underestimated by
governments
Use synonyms
,
otherwise
Linking Words
, it could end up miserably as it happened in other countries which have not invested enough capital in
education
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Afghanistan and Syria. Another supportive reason to more budget on
education
Use synonyms
 might be the fact that
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
education
Use synonyms
 is actually an investment. Imagine, rather than spending billions on recreation and sports, directing the taxpayer
money
Use synonyms
 into schools, universities, libraries and labs would highly increase the accessibility and the quality of
such
Linking Words
 environments. In less than a decade timeframe, the number of general practitioners, lawyers, IT specialists would eventually be risen up which may lead to a boost in the economy and the workforce. Taxpayer
money
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, could be spent on a better future by financing
education
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of organizing events and multi-day festivals. In conclusion, while some may argue that recreational activities and sports deserve the same size in
governments
Use synonyms
' budget, given the significance and potential benefits of having a better-educated population, I agree that
governments
Use synonyms
 should spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kaankarabina.au on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: