Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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These days, celebrities are renowned for their stylish look and

money

Use synonyms

instead

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of their achievements, and

this

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has a wrong impression on young peoples’

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

This

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essay agrees with the statement because famous

people

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do very hard work to gain popularity, and young

people

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have an immature mind to understand the world.

Firstly

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, celebrities put dedicated efforts to furnish their skills even after they become famous.

This

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is because practice is needed to perform well in front of the audience, and there is no role of

money

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to make them successful in their traits.

However

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, an honest effort makes them famous.

For example

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, Sachin Tendulkar is a famous Indian Cricketer, and

although

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he is rich and popular around the world, his team members admitted that he always

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

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more time as compared to his other

team-mates

Correct your spelling

teammates

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to perform consistently on the ground.

Secondly

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, young

people

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are not mature enough to understand that

people

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who are at the top become famous because they had overcome many obstacles before.

Money

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comes when

people

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achieve their milestones, and

this

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also

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makes them stylish.

Therefore

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, it is necessary to guide youngsters that it is more important to focus on their skills and sharpen them in order to succeed in life. To illustrate, a study by Cambridge University found that youngsters are 30% more likely to be influenced by celebrities wealth and fame, and

this

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has a negative impression on youth’s understanding of achieving success. In conclusion, prominent

people

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have gained fame and

money

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because of hard work, and we must guide youth that a dedicated effort makes

people

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famous.

Submitted by s25698363 on Fri Feb 11 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Do you think that education and training should be completely free or it is better to require fully paid tuition? Which way do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

You learned the news from your friend regarding a part-time job at a new international company near your house. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: explain why you need that job give details of what you can do for the company suggest the time that you can work.

It is important for people to take risks,both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make a difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.