Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

These days, celebrities are renowned for their stylish look and
money
instead
of their achievements, and
this
has a wrong impression on young peoples’
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
This
essay agrees with the statement because famous
people
do very hard work to gain popularity, and young
people
have an immature mind to understand the world.
Firstly
, celebrities put dedicated efforts to furnish their skills even after they become famous.
This
is because practice is needed to perform well in front of the audience, and there is no role of
money
to make them successful in their traits.
However
, an honest effort makes them famous.
For example
, Sachin Tendulkar is a famous Indian Cricketer, and
although
he is rich and popular around the world, his team members admitted that he always
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
more time as compared to his other
team-mates
Correct your spelling
teammates
show examples
to perform consistently on the ground.
Secondly
, young
people
are not mature enough to understand that
people
who are at the top become famous because they had overcome many obstacles before.
Money
comes when
people
achieve their milestones, and
this
also
makes them stylish.
Therefore
, it is necessary to guide youngsters that it is more important to focus on their skills and sharpen them in order to succeed in life. To illustrate, a study by Cambridge University found that youngsters are 30% more likely to be influenced by celebrities wealth and fame, and
this
has a negative impression on youth’s understanding of achieving success. In conclusion, prominent
people
have gained fame and
money
because of hard work, and we must guide youth that a dedicated effort makes
people
famous.
Submitted by s25698363 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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