IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

• In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #imprisonment #crimes #people #education
The most prevalent solution for people who are convicted of crimes is imprisonment in several countries.
Nevertheless
, some people argue a more effective way would be education. In terms of the committed
crime
, I totally agree that imprisonment would be the best way as a conviction, which is beneficial for self-reflection and social impact. Providing a plethora of prisons seems the most favourite preference for some countries in order to undermine devious criminals.
This
 selection may be opted to protect communities from the offenders since they do not recognize if there is a villain in surrounding that will emerge the
next
crime
 possibility.
Moreover
, it looks helpful for the offender to do self-evaluation and behave in positive manners when they are settled inside, so they may realize their mistakes . To illustrate, in Indonesia, the persuasive methods is not efficient enough to decrease the number of criminals, so entering the offenders to jails is the main conviction if they are being accused. They will be arrested and investigated with the police officers and processed into prisons.
Consequently
, the criminal rate plummets significantly, and the societies feel safe and convenient to do activities outside.
On the other hand
, applying education methods,
such
 as mediation or rehabilitation does not support making the offenders feel guilty and give up doing the
crime
, even though some people still believe that
this
 approach would be effective.
Nonetheless
, there is real evidence that it is not useful to combat the
crime
, Canada as an example.
This
 country has the jeopardy gangster that will savage murder and cannot bargain with anyone, including the government officers.
Thus
, it is mandatory to do a harsh procedure to raid them and put them into jail. In summary, I considered preferring imprisonment as the best way since it has several benefits of the aforementioned rather than using the persuasive method like education.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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