IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The maps below show the changes that took place at the seaside resort of Templeton between 2000 and 2013.

The maps below show the changes that took place at the seaside resort of Templeton between 2000 and 2013.
#maps #show #changes #place #resort #templeton
The given maps illustrate seafood vacation
place's
Change noun form
places
show examples
 changes in Templeton during
thirteen-year
Add an article
a thirteen-year
show examples
 period, from 2000 to 2013.
Overall
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 place had developed and become more industrial and modern over the given period.
According to
 the maps, in 2000
seaside
Correct article usage
the seaside
show examples
 resort of Templeton was
Correct article usage
a quite
show examples
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
,
natural
Add an article
a natural
the natural
show examples
 and undeveloped place with a large
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of trees, house apartments and public facilities
such
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 and
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 station,
while
 by 2013 it had significant changes. First of all, the trees had been cut down and
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
 factory was built
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of them.
Moreover
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 airport had been constructed on the right side of the river and the trees and houses
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
 in the south-east part of the area. Another striking change was
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 supermarket which is in the north part of apartments and blocks of flats were considerably grew up in 2013. Another notable change was
extension
Add an article
an extension
the extension
show examples
 of
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 along the coastline.
Furthermore
, the sea had been some ferry which used for
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 of cars.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: