Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, prevention is a high-priority agenda to reduce the rate of chronic disease that emerges because of risky behaviour. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that encouraging
people
Use synonyms
to work out by providing exercise facilities in public will support the idea, while others believe there are other strategies that will be more efficient to be applied. There are valid opinions on both sides which I will consider now. On the one hand, one major benefit of the greater amount of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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amenities is that it pushes
people
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to do athletic activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the government provides soccer
field
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fields
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in every district, it will excite
people
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to play football in order to kill their free time.
This
Linking Words
act will create
positive
Add an article
a positive
the positive
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environment as we spend less time on
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the gadget
a gadget
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gadget
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gadgets
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and focus on
real life
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real-life
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activity
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activities
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will surely strengthen the immune system to fight infection as the more we move our body, the more our blood flow increases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the usage of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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facilities lies on individual willingness;
therefore
Linking Words
better we focus on other strategies that I believe will be more efficient.
First
Linking Words
, we have to control our daily consumption by reducing
sugar
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intake.
For example
Linking Words
, we can start to substitute white rice
to
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with
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potato because potato contains less
carbohydrate
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carbohydrates
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than rice to avoid us from getting diabetes in the future.
Second
Linking Words
, the Government should reinforce
this
Linking Words
idea by formulating public policies in controlling
sugar
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percentage in food products.
This
Linking Words
approach will deliver extensive impact as it will automatically cut the
sugar
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consumption
in
Change preposition
at
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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level. Overall, I think that increasing the number of
sport
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sports
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facilities is not effective to improve public health because it gambles on personal willingness. Cutting the daily
sugar
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intake, supported by Government’s movement on regulating policies for food commodities, is better to enhance the quality of public health massively.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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