IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#abortion #increases #topic #people
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In recent times, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 growing concerns
on
Change preposition
about
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 whether pregnancy termination should be legalized or not
due to
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 the increasing number of cases.
While
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 some people argue
otherwise
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,
however
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, I believe that allowing it by law is more beneficial to the public.
This
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 essay will discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion
thereafter
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.
To begin
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 with, some individuals argue for the restriction of abortion
due to
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 the impact on moral values.
As a result
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, a lot of religious and clergymen frown at
such
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 as it is ungodly and unscriptural.
For instance
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, Catholics do not subscribe to taking another life no matter the condition involved because of their faith.
Accordingly
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, if a law promoting
termination
Correct article usage
the termination
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 of pregnancy was imposed by authorities, it could spark
off
Change preposition
apply
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a conflict of
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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.
Moreover
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, there are other approachable means of preventing unwanted pregnancy by emphasizing contraception.
Thus
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, if teenagers and women are given appropriate sexual education, they are able to avoid possible miscarriages.
On the contrary
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, one cannot overlook the dreaded complications from unsafe illegal miscarriages done by unqualified medical personnel, which is
giving
Verb problem
causing
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 a lot of health concerns ,especially in developing countries.
For example
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, current statistics show that the cases managed each month from post-abortion complications; haemorrhage, sepsis, and infertility in a teaching hospital in Nigeria
has
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have
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 increased four-fold in the
last
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 decade.
Therefore
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, to avoid hazards in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run, relevant authorities need to sanction the bill promoting miscarriage in order to avoid patronizing quacks who
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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 to threaten the lives of patients seeking help. In conclusion, even
though
Correct word choice
apply
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many people don't buy the idea of ending a foetal life
in-utero
Correct your spelling
in utero
due to
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 moral justifications and the availability of another option via contraception. I believe that the threat to the patients' lives
due to
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 the severe complications from seeking the services of an inexperienced person should provide enough evidence for implementing the law in favour of abortion.
Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on

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task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the essay question. Consider addressing the opposing view on abortion legalization in more depth to provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use transitions to connect paragraphs and ensure smooth progression of arguments.
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