Nowdays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

#nowdays #people #lifestyle

Today, harmful

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

have

being

Wrong verb form

been

show examples

adopted by society. The primary cause of

this

is that

people

have set too many goals in their lives and there is no time for rest. The most viable solution is to bring awareness about

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues. Nowadays, it is usual that most

people

have bad

habitd

Correct your spelling

habits

habit

of living because they spend eight to twelve hours per day sitting down performing a job.

That is

to say that the human body has not

enoug

Correct your spelling

enough

time to move and tend to become obese.

Moreover

this

might result in many

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

very

Add an article

a very

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early age for most of the crowd.

For instance

int he

Correct your spelling

in the

show examples

USA is very frequent that citizens have more than two jobs because the rent is almost

unafortable

Correct your spelling

unaffordable

for

people

. As result, the majority of the population is overweight and depressed. The main solution to avoid

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

unhelathy

Correct article usage

an unhelathy

show examples

lifestyle is to bring awareness about

this

situation because some

people

do not know about it. It is a great start to educate the population by presenting statistics about obesity and the diseases

people

might suffer because of

this

Besides

, many individuals do not know that obesity is already considered a disease.

For instance

, In Anaheim, C.A. all the

fast food

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

restaurants should inform the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of calories that a single plate has to help the client be informed.

This

has helped many

people

refraining

Wrong verb form

refrain

show examples

from eating some food that contain too many calories. To conclude, society

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

adopted

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle because

too

Change preposition

of too

show examples

highly

Replace the word

high

show examples

expectations in life and the unawareness of what

this

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

to our lives, so it is important to educate

people

to avoid getting sick.

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Sun Feb 13 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowdays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Topic: it is often considered that change is more benefit to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same.Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Some people think that to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should live in cities, instead of the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?