Nowdays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

Today, harmful
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
have
being
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
adopted by society. The primary cause of
this
is that
people
have set too many goals in their lives and there is no time for rest. The most viable solution is to bring awareness about
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
issues. Nowadays, it is usual that most
people
have bad
habitd
Correct your spelling
habits
habit
of living because they spend eight to twelve hours per day sitting down performing a job.
That is
to say that the human body has not
enoug
Correct your spelling
enough
time to move and tend to become obese.
Moreover
,
this
might result in many
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
early age for most of the crowd.
For instance
,
int he
Correct your spelling
in the
show examples
USA is very frequent that citizens have more than two jobs because the rent is almost
unafortable
Correct your spelling
unaffordable
for
people
. As result, the majority of the population is overweight and depressed. The main solution to avoid
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
unhelathy
Correct article usage
an unhelathy
show examples
lifestyle is to bring awareness about
this
situation because some
people
do not know about it. It is a great start to educate the population by presenting statistics about obesity and the diseases
people
might suffer because of
this
.
Besides
, many individuals do not know that obesity is already considered a disease.
For instance
, In Anaheim, C.A. all the
fast food
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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restaurants should inform the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of calories that a single plate has to help the client be informed.
This
has helped many
people
refraining
Wrong verb form
refrain
show examples
from eating some food that contain too many calories. To conclude, society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
adopted
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle because
too
Change preposition
of too
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highly
Replace the word
high
show examples
expectations in life and the unawareness of what
this
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
to our lives, so it is important to educate
people
to avoid getting sick.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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