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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
Recently, with the booming health care technology, the community has to be concerned for the more elderly population. The debate on whether society is able to cope with the increasing number of elderly
people
 has been a concern. In my perspective, the public has the capacity to handle
this
 problem.
To begin
 with,
people
 have more responsibility for taking care of the elderly nowadays. Due to globalisation, more job opportunities are being provided,
people
 can gain higher wages which gives them a higher ability to take responsibility for their parents.
This
 can reduce the burden on the nursing houses and fiscal deficit.
Moreover
, as
people
 have more income, they can hire
people
 or import some high tech machines to look after the senior.
For example
, some exercise’s machines can improve elderly mussels or toys which keep them in good mood.
Therefore
,
as a result
 of the globalisation in today community, the ability for the public to take responsibility for the seniors has increased and is more able to handle
this
 problem.
On the contrary
, the ageing problem may be a concern. Take Hong Kong as an example, the working population has been reduced due to the increasing number of retired
people
 which give a sharp drop in labour supply.
This
 may reduce the
government
 tax revenue as fewer
people
 are fell into the tax net.
As a result
, the
government
 may have pressure on subsided the elderly
such
 as paying them
allowance
Add an article
an allowance
show examples
 or spending money on building up the retirement house.
Therefore
, society may have
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 in taking care of the elderly or have trouble with providing help.
Nevertheless
, the fiscal budget of one's
government
 is uncertain and the amount of money put on elderly programs may
also
 depend on the willingness. The USA has fiscal deficit for years but it still put a lot of effort into the elderly process.
Moreover
, the burgeoning technology may
also
 reduce the cost of investment in senior programs. Overall, in my opinion, society today is stronger and richer and has more capacity and ability to cope with the increase in the number of elderly
people
.
Moreover
, the
government
 can encourage and give allowance to those who look after their parents on their own to reduce the social burden.
Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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