IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

#people #diet #exercise #health #life
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A section of individuals
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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 are not prerequisites for general well-being and living long. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is not true.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses the importance of having a scheduled
exercise
Use synonyms
 program and maintaining a daily healthy
diet
Use synonyms
. To start with, routine exercises
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
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 to a healthy weight. Being overweight has been attributed to many diseases and a short life span.
For instance
Linking Words
, many citizens in my country died of weight-related illnesses
last
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 year.
Also
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, a study done in Hungary showed that lack of
exercise
Use synonyms
 is a high contributor to cardiovascular diseases in the 21st century. Having a regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 program would result in general well-being and increased life expectancy.
In addition
Linking Words
, a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is another option we cannot avoid. It means having optimal proportions of all the essential nutrients that a body requires to function well. Consumption of food in excess results in obesity
while
Linking Words
 under-consumption results in being underweight which is lethal in equal magnitude. Research done in my country revealed that
diet
Use synonyms
-related illnesses contribute to half of the total deaths every year.
Moreover
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, a study that was conducted in Uganda, a neighbouring country, showed that malnutrition is among the top 10 diseases among the under 5’s. Balancing different foods in their right proportions guarantees a healthy life.
To conclude
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, it is crystal clear that having frequent body mechanics
besides
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 consuming foods in their appropriate nutrient amounts is paramount to living longer
as well as
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 having good health. I highly recommend everyone to
exercise
Use synonyms
 30 minutes daily and eat a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dmwitikimathi on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and supports the main argument clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and logical transitions to connect ideas between paragraphs. Also, make sure to restate the main points in the conclusion.
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