IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many argue that deciding on a
course
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aisle
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 early and staying with it leads to a more fulfilling professional life compared to frequently changing jobs. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on why I strongly support
this
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 perspective. The primary reason is that individuals who choose a specific
course
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 avenue early on can experience stability and concentration. They invest their time and effort in mastering their chosen
farmland
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, continuously improving their skills and knowledge.
This
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 prolonged dedication enables them to advance in their careers, attain expertise, and feel a profound sense of accomplishment.
This
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 can be seen across various fields, one of which is medicine. Typically, physicians invest years in studying and practising medicine,
thus
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 garnering profound insights into their
farmland
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. Through persistent engagement in
this
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 chosen pursuit, they gradually refine their expertise, fostering a sense of mastery and fulfilment. Another reason for my agreement is that committing to a particular
course
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aisle
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 is often linked with better opportunities for financial stability.
This
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 is because those who commit to a specific
farmland
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 early on often have more predictable income paths, allowing for better financial planning and security.
Conversely
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, changing jobs frequently can potentially result in periods of unemployment or underemployment, causing financial strain and uncertainty in
such
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 times.
This
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 means that the financial security that comes with long-term
course
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 commitment can enhance
overall
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 job satisfaction. In conclusion, I firmly support the idea that deciding on a
course
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aisle
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 early and sticking to it can lead to a more gratifying professional life as it allows individuals to focus on their chosen
farmland
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, promoting personal growth and expertise,
while
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also
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 providing financial stability. By making an early commitment to a
course
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aisle
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, individuals can set themselves up for a successful and fulfilling
course
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 journey.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your stance and summarizes the main points you will be discussing. Similarly, your conclusion should restate your position and summarize the key points made throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a coherent structure, with clear progression of ideas. To improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
While your essay addresses the task well, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments could strengthen your position. Consider including real-life examples, statistics, or findings from reputable studies to make your arguments more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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