Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer.
As we all have come across to a point
that
trend for Correct determiner usage
the
celebrities
has increased drastically and they are being overpaid. I do not agree, with the above statement down the line I will be explaining a few points which will have
a clear view that Verb problem
give
celebrities
are not being paid far too much.
Firstly
, there are many actors, singers or models who perform for us on the big screens so that we can enjoy our lives and learn new lessons. We are not aware of the hard work they go through it takes almost a year or two to display one movie in theatres. They have to be, punctual for their shoots because it takes proper timing and has to match nature's background. There are so many dances, dialogues and various types of activity that need to be performed by one individual. For, example the king of Bollywood Sharukh
Khan was not famous, in past but after putting in a lot of effort today he is one of the best actors in India and the highest-paid film star in the Indian film industry. Correct your spelling
Shahrukh
This
is because of the hard work that has bought
him up in his field.
Correct your spelling
brought
Furthermore
, it is a case of demand and supply. For, instance , there is a song sung by any singer and it becomes a blockbuster. We intend to buy his albums and moreover
, if there is any concert in our city for the same individual we buy tickets for that concert just to see them live to
live. Verb problem
apply
Celebrities
play a vital role in everyone's life as they perform for us, they inspire us and their role help
us to relax and remove stress.
In conclusion, from my point of Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
view
Add a comma
view,
celebrities
are not been overpaid. They are paid for the efforts and the hard work they do throughout the year. Personally, I think it’s a euphoria to pay for what brings a smile to your face while
the celebrities
are satisfied because they could
dedicate their talents.
Wrong verb form
can
However
, more jobs in society just as doctors or teachers need to be paid higher because of their
hard process Change the word
the
to become
successful.Change preposition
of becoming
Submitted by vishak2511 on
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task response
The essay presents a clear argument but lacks in-depth analysis of the topic. There are relevant points made, but they need to be developed further to fully address the task.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat evident, but there is a need for stronger connectivity between ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more substantial and clearly linked to the main body of the essay. Additionally, the essay lacks a clear thesis statement to guide the reader through the argument.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, with a good range of vocabulary used to express ideas. However, there is a lack of precision in the use of vocabulary, and some phrases are repetitive, affecting the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is fairly good, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures used throughout the essay. However, there are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice, which impact the overall grammatical range and accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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