IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries people prefer to live alone more often than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Determining the impact of living alone on society is an ongoing debate among
people
Use synonyms
. Some claim that it leads a positive development whereas others advocate the idea that it causes a negative effect on society. A close examination of the social phenomena will clearly demonstrate that it will affect negatively the
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an increase in the number of single-person households will cause a decrease in the
population
Use synonyms
 of the
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Korea, the increase of living alone mostly occurred in young
people
Use synonyms
. Together with, the marriage
rate
Use synonyms
 decreased because
people
Use synonyms
 who were old enough to marry did not marry compared with before.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the lower marriage
rate
Use synonyms
 caused a lower
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 since
people
Use synonyms
 who want to give
birth
Use synonyms
 to a baby are decreased.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon led to steady
population
Use synonyms
 declines by recording a low
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
, 0.84.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 social problem will drop national productivity gradually.
For instance
Linking Words
, as I claimed before,
population
Use synonyms
 reduction will be accrued from the rise in the number of single-households. Those reductions will lead to a decline in the parenting industries
first
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 as powdered milk, diapers, and strollers.
Next
Linking Words
, education industries including private educating institutes and schools will be destroyed from dropped incomes compared with before when the kids become students.
Finally
Linking Words
, the Gross Domestic Products, GDP, of the
country
Use synonyms
 will fall due to the decreased number of
people
Use synonyms
 who can earn and spend money. To sum up, the preference for living alone can negatively affect society.
First
Linking Words
, the circumstance will cause a gentle decline in
population
Use synonyms
 and
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will cause a fall in productivity like the GDP of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by koriente on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: