Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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Nowadays, playing outdoor games is very crucial for keeping us fit. Regarding

this

Linking Words

point, many individuals argued that enhancing

scope

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the scope

show examples

of gaming can develop people's

health

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while others believe that solely playing sports can not do it, at the same time we need to perform others like consuming

Correct article usage

a balance

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balance

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balanced

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diet and proper medical

check-up

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check-ups

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and I

also

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guess so. I will discuss

the

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apply

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both views with

Correct article usage

an example

show examples

example

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examples

show examples

further

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. On the

one

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hand,gaming is a form of exercise and it has a lot of

values

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value

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to keep us healthy. In

this

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view,

excercises

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exercises

enhance our immunity,

lobricant

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lubricant

lubricate

our joining, keep our mind alert and decrease our obesity

also

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For instance

Linking Words

one

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of my maternal aunts with whom I stayed three years because of my study purposes,

she

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apply

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suffered a plethora of

health

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issues

such

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as diabetes, high blood sugar,

cronic

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chronic

liver disease because of her overweight

amd

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and

she was almost 106 kg. So, he consulted

a doctors

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a doctor

doctors

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and he suggested

her

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she

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

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play outdoor games like spinning rope,running,swimming, badminton and so on.

According

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toAccording

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this

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suggestion, she used to

doing

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it and after

one

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month she felt fresh than before and as well as her age declined by 10 kg.

On the other hand

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, consuming healthy food

play

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plays

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a significant role

for

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show examples

developing people’s

health

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. Good food which we called

balance

Correct article usage

a balance

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diet provides people's necessary vitamins, protein, minerals and without getting these

element

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elements

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properly no

one

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can improve their

health

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For example

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, I read

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show examples

article just

few

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a few

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months ago where some overseas researchers mentioned that 80% of

peoples

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people

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are not aware

taking

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of taking

show examples

Add an article

a vitamin

the vitamin

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vitamin

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vitamins

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As a result

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individiuals

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individuals

will face visual disability before their early fifties. In conclusion, there is no doubt that enhancing the scope of playing sports is very crucial as well as people’s need to maintain a proper diet and lifestyle for staying healthy and fresh.

Submitted by sporshiajyoti on Tue Feb 15 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Some people think that some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult for children to learn at school. They think that these subjects should be made optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's competitive world, many families need both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?