Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Nowadays, playing outdoor games is very crucial for keeping us fit. Regarding

this

point, many individuals argued that enhancing

scope

Add an article

the scope

show examples

of gaming can develop people's

health

while others believe that solely playing sports can not do it, at the same time we need to perform others like consuming

Correct article usage

a balance

show examples

balance

Correct your spelling

balanced

show examples

diet and proper medical

check-up

Fix the agreement mistake

check-ups

show examples

and I

also

guess so. I will discuss

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both views with

Correct article usage

an example

show examples

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

further

. On the

one

hand,gaming is a form of exercise and it has a lot of

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

to keep us healthy. In

this

view,

excercises

Correct your spelling

exercises

enhance our immunity,

lobricant

Correct your spelling

lubricant

lubricate

our joining, keep our mind alert and decrease our obesity

also

For instance

one

of my maternal aunts with whom I stayed three years because of my study purposes,

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suffered a plethora of

health

issues

such

as diabetes, high blood sugar,

cronic

Correct your spelling

chronic

liver disease because of her overweight

amd

Correct your spelling

and

she was almost 106 kg. So, he consulted

a doctors

Correct the article-noun agreement

a doctor

doctors

show examples

and he suggested

her

Correct pronoun usage

she

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

play outdoor games like spinning rope,running,swimming, badminton and so on.

According

Add the preposition

toAccording

show examples

this

suggestion, she used to

doing

Change the form of the verb

show examples

it and after

one

month she felt fresh than before and as well as her age declined by 10 kg.

On the other hand

, consuming healthy food

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a significant role

for

Change preposition

show examples

developing people’s

health

. Good food which we called

balance

Correct article usage

a balance

show examples

diet provides people's necessary vitamins, protein, minerals and without getting these

element

Fix the agreement mistake

elements

show examples

properly no

one

can improve their

health

For example

, I read

Change the article

show examples

article just

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

months ago where some overseas researchers mentioned that 80% of

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

are not aware

taking

Change preposition

of taking

show examples

Add an article

a vitamin

the vitamin

show examples

vitamin

Fix the agreement mistake

vitamins

show examples

As a result

individiuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

will face visual disability before their early fifties. In conclusion, there is no doubt that enhancing the scope of playing sports is very crucial as well as people’s need to maintain a proper diet and lifestyle for staying healthy and fresh.

Submitted by sporshiajyoti on Tue Feb 15 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extiction. some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and gets news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.