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Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#school #age #eighteen #significance #level #education #learner #life
Educational institutes play a vital role in an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
life
.
Therefore
 , it is often argued that one should complete
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
elementary and intermediate
school
 before adulthood as it is an essential part of
life
. and Even I ponder the same. first and foremost
school
 is the only place where the child learns the basic traits required for moving in the right direction,
Although
parents
 teach their children the necessary
skills
 needed at an early
stage
 of
life
 ,
however
, teachers influence learners better than their
parents
. To quote an instance ,
parents
 bring their kids lovingly which makes them pampered.
Consequently
, they do not listen to their
parents
 but they can not ignore their tutors' instructions.
Furthermore
, the environment of the
school
 encourages students to perform better.
Due to
 cut-throat competition, students have to perform beyond their potential which will inculcate only when they will attend
school
 till the age of 18.
Apart from
this
, children acquire universal knowledge and social
skills
 which are required to survive in today’s world. As they are not much enough to differentiate between right and wrong things at an early
stage
 of
life
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
things they are taught at that time remain in their mind for a long time so it is the best period to educate about social
skills
 and provide knowledge of the world. Not only, will develop their personality, but it
also
 reduces child labour
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 helps to decrease crime. since people will become aware of the necessity of education , they will not allow their children to work at an early
stage
 of
life
.
Thus
, It will bring down the percentage of illiteracy in the Country.
To conclude
, it should be mandatory for youngsters to acquire elementary and intermediate education before stepping into the adolescence
stage
 as it would provide the
skills
 needed to survive in today's world.
Submitted by ritu1508.dcsa on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to provide a more comprehensive overview of the essay.
task achievement
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory education
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Career prospects
  • Economic mobility
  • Lifelong learner
  • Vocational training
  • Apprenticeships
  • Academic achievements
  • Global economy
  • Personal autonomy
  • Educational equity
  • Overqualification
  • Job market saturation
  • Inequality
  • Specialization
  • Skill development
  • Youth unemployment
  • Innovative pedagogy
  • Social integration
  • Critical thinking skills
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