Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.
There are many factors to gain
happiness
in life. Most people
think that happiness
comes from money
, while
others believe that happiness
is not related to money
. In this
essay, I will explain that money
can buy many things
to make people
happy, even though joy can also
come from the environment.
The first thing to consider is if people
have enough money
, they can buy many things
they need. For example
, someone who loves cars will buy many kinds of vehicles because they will satisfy them, and of course, this
hobby costs millions of dollars. Also
, people
who love travelling, cooking, or reading need funds to buy the things
they want. It seems clear that the more wealth humans have, the more happiness
they will get.
On the other hand
, some parts of our society believe that money
does nothing with happiness
because happiness
comes from our environment. For instance
, poor kids will be happier than rich kids because they have a happy family and friends that rich kids don’t have. It is because when the parents have a high salary, they will have more responsibility in their jobs, so they will have less time to spend with their children. As a result
, this
situation makes the children feel lonely and alone, far from happy.
In conclusion, although
wealth can buy many things
to make humans happy, love and affection from people
around us are also
essential to make life more comfortable. In addition
, people
should balance their time to gain more cash and their time to socialize with their surroundings.Submitted by dewintaputri23 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable discussion of both views, however, there is room to explore the topics in more depth. Try to develop a more nuanced argument by providing clear and elaborated examples, and offer a more in-depth analysis of the ways in which money might relate to happiness.
coherence cohesion
Although there is a logical flow, transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Add more cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Your opinion
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