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Band 5.5

Governments should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #research #environment
The notion
whether
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of whether
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 the government should spend more of its funds
of
Change preposition
on
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 medical research rather than the issues concerning the environment is under debate. Some may feel that it is highly crucial to care about the inhabitants of the residential area while others opine to be for protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. Scientific research on matters linked with
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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 seems the idea
that is
 worth financing as the
health
 of citizens is directly connected to the environment. The air, water and soil are the main factors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are the basis of healthy life.
Therefore
, studying them and applying the most recent methods to enhance their condition is a must.
For instance
, residents of the area which is polluted can suffer from different
health
 issues, which in turn causes more money to be spent on it. While most agree with the idea above, there may still be well-based arguments against the statements mentioned as well-being among the people living in a particular area is indicated by the number of people who are fit in general.
Thus
, any survey connected to the
health
 and finance
that is
 allocated to improve it can only be beneficial for both governments and individuals. The findings of
an
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observation can serve as one of the most powerful enhancements of public
health
. For the reasons discussed above, I agree with the opinion that any fund should be directed to solving problems about
health
 as any citizen, when they are asked whether they are satisfied with the living conditions, replies considering their overall state of
health
.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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