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Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered harmful for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #malls #society
In
this
 day and age,
free
Correct article usage
the free
show examples
time
 of most young adult
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 spent on going to the mall while others assume that they are wasting their
time
. From my perspective,
although
this
 is still a controversial
problems
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problem
show examples
, I do believe that advantages might outweigh drawbacks. Spending most of
youngsters'
Add an article
the youngsters'
show examples
 leisure
time
 at shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 might have various disadvantages which might be a vital element for disagreement. Wasting an amount of
time
 at malls might distract pupils from their education and outdoor activities. As a consequence,
students
 lose their motivation to go to school, spend less
time
on
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apply
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investing
for
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in
show examples
 their future
career
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careers
show examples
.
For instance
, according to the 2019 figure about American
students
 absent from school, nearly 60% of young
students
 who play truant often visit shopping malls.
On the other hand
, there are still numerous noticeable benefits that people might consider.
First
 of all, malls include several conveniences
such
 as movie
theater
Fix the agreement mistake
theaters
show examples
, coffee shops which are extremely easy for
students
 to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new contact or hang out with friends after schooltime in order to get rid of social media and
cyber crime
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cybercrime
show examples
.In fact, several scientists have indicated that youngsters tend to overuse
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 which would be the main reason of
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime is affected by
toxic
Add an article
a toxic
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relationship
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relationships
show examples
.
Therefore
, going to the shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 might be one of the most common solutions for parents to consider. In conclusion, adolescents need to have a bright orientation from the elder to exploit the pros and avoid the cons with the previous points in the essay.
Submitted by tranducha161003 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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