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Writing Samples
Band 7

Youth drug abuse is a serious problem. What are the possible causes of this behavior? Do you have any suggestions to control that?

Drug abuse is a major problem in our society, particularly among the young.
This
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 essay will attempt to identify the possible cause of
this
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 trend and explain some appropriate solutions. There are numerous factors that lead to adolescents developing a habit of drug abuse. First and foremost, as children grow older, they require more
attention
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 and guidance, primarily from their
parents
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, but the reality is the opposite.
For instance
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, some
parents
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 focus on their work and do overtime, which means they do not have enough time for their children.
Secondly
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, the youth generation falls into the wrong friendships, which encourages them to follow the path. To illustrate, if several people in a friendship use drugs, the other
child
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 who does not use
will
Correct pronoun usage
them will
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 gradually become interested. Cooperation with
parents
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 and the environment can help to control
this
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 issue.
To begin
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,
parents
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 have to obtain
attention
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 and time for their
child
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.
Next,
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to increase their children's closeness,
parents
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 can establish a time routine for talking with them. As an example, the guardian does dinner with their
child
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 and asks for their activity.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 need to know about their
child
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's interests and provide guidance. By way of instance, a mother and father may suggest activities that can improve a
child
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’s abilities or prepare the youth's future.
To sum up
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, drug abuse by young adults is a crucial issue that occurs
due to
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 a lack of
attention
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 from the elderly and tends to involve the wrong person;
however
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, it can be prevented by the
attention
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 of their
parents
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 or guardians.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences that recap the central point of each paragraph. Utilize a wider range of linking devices beyond the basics to ensure seamless transitions.
task achievement
For task achievement, your response must address all parts of the task with relevant main ideas supported by some development of argument or examples. Aim to fully expand your points for clarity and depth to meet the requirements of the highest band scores.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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