IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

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In certain countries, being the owner of an apartment is deemed vital as opposed to being a tenant. The financial restrictions that renting
brings
Change the verb form
bring

The singular verb brings does not appear to agree with the plural subject restrictions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 about
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cause
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many to wish for the actual ownership of the homes in which they could be at liberty to make any adjustments to the building. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I will discuss why the public wishes to own homes rather than
renting
Replace the word
rent

The word renting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the benefits of doing so.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, renting a dwelling deprives a person of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb having appears to be unnecessary here.

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financial stability.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, because an individual has to pay for the rentals monthly, he is denied the opportunity to save some
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds

It seems that fund may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 to grow his business and to stabilise financially.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in a survey conducted in West Africa on the economic effects of monthly payments of rentals, it was determined that communities who made
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 payments were not able to improve their financial status.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in itself motivates families to acquire their own homes rather than to rent one.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one plus point of advising the crowd to own a home rather than rent is that It accords them the freedom to be able to make any adjustments to the building whenever they see
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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fit. To put
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in perspective, unlike with a rented home, extending a shack to make more room can be done at any time without seeking approval.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in order to add another extra room to a home, a tenant first has to inquire from the landlord if he can be granted permission to do so before he can take any action. Regardless of how necessary
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 might be for the tenant, he may not always be given that opportunity. Henceforward, more reason why it is a positive development to own a condominium so that one can be at liberty to do all he wishes with the mansion. In conclusion, it is because many public is denied financial freedom
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of paying for the rentals that many countries urge them to gain independence.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 comes with countless benefits like the ability to make adjustments to the building whenever a person wishes to. Personally, I believe it is a positive approach

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task response
Include more specific examples and statistics to support your points. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly by using linking words and phrases. Additionally, make sure each paragraph connects logically to the next to maintain coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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