Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

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There is no denying the fact that competition is a significant thing to grow in any place.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that competing with each other at work or school is a good and crucial thing , there is

also

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an argument that others believe we should try to collaborate

instead

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of competing against each other.

This

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essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, in general, the concept of competition gives us a sense of responsibility and provides our efforts to produce high results.

In other words

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, the majority of students have the enthusiasm to compete with each other in their homework and assignments to get a considerable degree.

In addition

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, there are global companies that have strictly evaluated their employees, in order to demonstrate successful employees and give their evaluations equally.

For example

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, if students or co-workers compete with each other respectfully, so they will boost their skills and get a high achieving.

On the other hand

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, others reckon we must to try collaborate more,

instead

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of compete each other. It is

also

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possible to say that the spirit of cooperation is a significant part of any business or project.

Thus

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, a lot of people admit that cooperation can help to contribute more achievements and get a high performance.

Moreover

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, collaboration can make a considerable project in a short period, teamwork is an important skill at work or school.

For instance

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, football sports can not be played without one player , which reflects the importance of collaboration . In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that we should boost the concept of collaboration at work or at school even at home, in order to get any assistance in our society easily and effortlessly.

raghadyaseer2015Tue Nov 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher band score, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

While your response is generally complete, make sure every argument is well-supported with precise examples and detailed elaboration where possible.

task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples that relate to personal experiences or widely known occurrences to strengthen your points.

task achievement

You present a balanced discussion of both views and clearly state your opinion at the end, which is crucial for task response.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, each part fulfilling its purpose in the essay.

coherence cohesion

You have a good introduction that sets the context and outlines the main points you will discuss.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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